Mosaic Heartache

I have been with many girls in my entire life, I have a lot of them as friends, I have some of them as close friends, I have some of them as crushes, I have some of them with mutual understandings, I have some of them who I courted, I have some of them I have kissed, I have some of them with relationships.

Let me tell you a story of my love life. This is exclusive to the readers of my blog, so consider your self very lucky. *laugh* Since, this is a story of my love life, maybe let's not talk of the guys anymore. :D

Of course, since I was a child, the best woman I have ever loved is my mother. I am very blessed to have my mom by my side, there is no greater love than a mother's love.

As I remember, I started to have a crush, or puppy love, when I was in kindergarten. So young right? Hahaha. Well, I just remember her, but not the name and looks anymore. All I know is that I had a puppy love in that very young age.

When I was in elementary, I had several crushes. I can't remember how many, but I know there is. And then, there is this girl in Grade 6 (I'm in Grade 6 too) who I really admire. Everytime she's passing by, all I wanna do is look at her. She's really beautiful, and we both live on the same neighborhood. One of my friend is her classmate, and I knew that she already have her cellphone so I got her phone number. Well, I don't have a phone that time, I am borrowing the phone of my friend just to text my crush. Haha. At a very young age, I already know those stuffs. :D However, when we graduated in elementary, I haven't seen her. Unless, I walk by their house. Sometimes I see her, and I'm so attracted by her. But, she don't know me anymore. Awww..

Now, let's go in my high school life, I mean, love life. When I was in high school, I have met a lot of girls in my life. Here, many things happened that are so remarkable.

Let's start with my first love. This girl is my first love way back when we were in first year high school. I really felt that I love her. I love to see her, I find myself smiling when I see her, or even just hear her name. Well, I confronted her my feelings. And, I was friendzoned. Aww.. Yeah it hurts. But you know, It is her rejection that made us stick together, and now we're like best friends though we seldom meet now. I just learned that "Rejection is not about having things away from you, but it is one way to keep it with you." I may be rejected with love, but it is our friendship that make us together. I already wrote about us in one of my posts in this blog. So maybe you could read about it. :)

There is also this girl who I have loved. Well, it's a man's nature to feel the lust. But, with too much attraction I see at her, I end up feeling in love. Yeah, we are friends, but everytime we're together, I treat her like a princess. I give some of the things she want without expecting in return, all I wanna see is that she's happy. Everytime she has problems, I'm always there she can talk with. There's mutual understanding. I told her my feelings, friendzoned again. I'm just a friend to her. However, when I confronted her, we became like in a relationship. I also have kissed her in the lips, that's the best thing I can't forget about her. :) We also had slept in one night together, that was in our closing party. Hey you're thinking it wrong, we slept together so I could protect her through the night, so no other guys will do bad things to her while sleeping. We're friends. Yeah, friends.

I also fell in love with a flirt. We just started from a conversion of love, though we don't know each other that time. Just a funny conversation. So I courted her. All along, I was courting a girl who already has her boyfriend. She kept everything to me. So I just left her hanging. Until, she and her boyfriend broke up, she said she loves me. And me, I ignored. I can never love her for long, if she has kept everything to me that time, she can do it again and betray me in the future. So, I just bid her with the one last kiss and goodbye.

The girl I really love the most, I called her Maria in my previous blog posts. I would summarize it here, you could read the whole story on my previous posts. Well, I am truly, madly, deeply in love with this girl. I have the feelings that I know I am the man she deserves to be with, the man he would be happy to marry. I love her. I still love her though she had boyfriend that time. We always text, tweet, chat, and meet. Many people knew I love her, because it's pretty obvious. I just don't know why I ended up friendzoned. She is the girl I loved the most, I even considered it true love. I have the true love, she doesn't. It really hurts, I got tears in my eyes, it took me a long time to move on and I until now, I still love her. I don't have regrets if we ended up like this, because I know throughout my courtship, I had showed her everything I got and make her feel the love I have. This is the most hurting heartbreak I have in my life. And, now she just calls me "Kuya". I just don't know how to interpret it. But we're glad as friends now.

Let's not just talk about the relationships, since all are not-so-serious relationships, though it's serious for me but not for the other. I just wanna thank them for the time they spared with me. :)

I have more stories to tell, but quite similar to the recent stories. Throughout my high school years, I have kissed a number of woman, mingled with them. We've been more than friends but less than lovers. But, I have never invited a girl to do the sex thing. I love them, and I want first to get married with the woman I will love eternally before doing that thing. I respect every girl I have loved. Just to clear it :))

So, what's the point of narrating these stories? I don't know, I just want to. Haha.

I may seem to be like a flirty guy, having mutual relations with different woman. But, you know, with the stories of my love life, I have learned a lot. With my immaturity to fling with many woman, I became mature enough to choose or to know the woman I'm going to marry.

Since college, I've never committed in a relationship. Because I'm more meticulous in choosing the woman I can be with. Also, if ever I will commit myself in a relationship, I am looking for the woman who I'm gonna marry. The woman I can be with forever. With the past love stories I experienced, I knew the characteristics I've been looking in a woman.

The title of this blog is Mosaic Heartaches, it's obvious because my of life is full of heartbreaks. These heartaches are worthy to experience because you can be able to know what love really is. As they say, you will know what is right when you know what is wrong.

When I was young, I thought LOVE is the best inspiration to study well in school. That was the biggest misconception in my life. Now that I'm in college, I focused in my dreams and with God. My academic performance had improved, dreams and God is the best inspiration in my studies. I am wrong to think that love can inspire me, because I wasn't good when I was in high school. In college, I am right to choose my dreams and God as my inspiration and I'm doing well now in school.

To sum it up, love can be an inspiration, if it motivates you to study well. If love makes you miserable, have cutting class, and lower grades. Love is not an inspiration. You should be wise. There are many things that can inspire you, do not focus on love. If you got hurt on your past relationships, don't make yourself miserable. Instead, make yourself wiser to choose the right person in your life.

When love hurts, it really is love. But if love doesn't work, don't force it to happen. When love makes you good, it is inspiration. When love makes you bad, it is desperation.

So guys, make your mosaic heartaches turn into an art of a beautiful masterpiece. The masterpiece of a beautiful love story. :)