Thursday, September 13, 2012

This was not my dream, this is God's Blessing

Why do I have to fight for something I never dreamed to be?

When I was a in my preparatory level, I was asked by my teacher, "What do you want to be when you grow old?" Enthusiastically, I answered "I want to be an Engineer!"

When I reached grade school, I was asked the same question, "What do you want to be when you grow old?" Gladly, I answered, "My dream is to be an Engineer! Because my dad is an engineer."

When I entered high school, I knew that my dad was not an Engineer, he was an undergraduate of his course. But, he became a contractor, his work is like an engineer, building houses and hotels, renovations. He was self-employed, but a lot successful than those who have the degree in Engineering.

I asked myself, "What do I want to be when I grow old? Why Engineer?" I answered myself, "I want to be an Engineer because I want to finish what my Dad hasn't achieved."

During my last year - senior year - in high school, I have been thinking on what course to pursue on college. With too much consideration, my plan is to take up Civil Engineering. However, I also wanted to be a chef, to take up Culinary Arts. Those two are my options on what course to take up.

Meanwhile, during my senior year, I became so interested with bookkeeping - it is one of my subjects then. I noticed I excel in the subject although it's quite hard, I'm on the average but still I find it interesting. There are times that I almost fail for an exam, that it quite disappointing, but challenging. Until the end of the school year, I liked the subject bookkeeping. Also, during the year, I have knew of Accountancy, I knew many students are enrolling on the course. I wondered why, I thought it is really that interesting for students to get attracted. So, I considered it to be part of my course options.

In the last days of my high school years, I have to decide my course for college, it is already the time I have to enroll myself on college. Which course, Civil Engineering, Culinary Arts, or Accountancy?

Ever since, I wanted to be an Engineer; at some point, I felt I like I wanted to be a Chef; and at the most recent time, I have liked the basic of accounting, so I became interested of being an Accountant. As time goes by, I have been weighing what I should pursue on college. Until, I have to enroll now, and guess what?

Of the three options, I chose Accountancy. The course I never dreamed before and I haven't knew since childhood. It is one of the greatest decision I ever made in my life.

So, I enrolled in the course. Honestly, I don't know what's my future in accountancy, i don't know what are the works of an accountant, and I don't have idea that there's such thing as Certified Public Accountants or CPA. All I know is, I am enrolled in the course. In short, I entered the course Accountancy without knowing what it can do with my future.

I enrolled the course on one of the best schools for Accountancy, Holy Angel University. I enter the school with the knowledge I have from high school.

In my first year, things go easy yet difficult. I find my accounting subjects easy because I have my background in bookkeeping, yet I find it difficult because the subjects are really hard. The minor subjects seemed quite easy too. In fact, for the two semesters in my first year, I am included in the Dean's List.

Since my first year was not that hard yet, though I already studied hard for it, I still think I am not focused on my chosen career. I still bring with me my attitude in high school, I still don't study very well for examinations and quizzes. Sometimes, there are tests for tomorrow but at the night, I was just using the computer and surfing the internet.

When I was in first year, I was threatened how difficult my course was, most likely the critical year which is the second year. I never knew that Accountancy is really hard, a lot more than I expected. The filtering of students, the qualifying exams, and the worst is that out of thousand students in first year is only two sections to remain in the Fifth Year. Well, it is necessary to graduate from fifth year to be able to take the Board Exams. That scared me, but I was challenged. The more I dreamed to be a Certified Public Accountant.

Now I am in the second year, the so called critical-year in the five years of Accountancy.

And, ohhhhhhhhhh... It was indeed very hard! It was my first time to experience consecutive zero results in my scores and failing quizzes. On my major exam, I reviewed three books for almost one week, but the result is just a little higher than the passing grade. I feel like surrendering, but I didn't. I studied hard, I recovered myself on the failures I had on the start of the semester. I sees it very hard, so I started to change my studying habits. I have been studying too much, sometimes for the whole afternoon until midnight.

"Life is like a wheel, you cannot move forward if the wheel is not operating."

I am not being productive in my studies, I got failing results. Maybe it is the reason why I fail, my wheel is not operating. So, I changed the wheel, I changed my studying habits. I focus myself on reading the book. I sacrifice my leisure time to allot it for additional studying time. I became productive.

As a result, I got perfect seat works, perfect quizzes, passing pre-examination but same results on the major examination. I can teach my classmates, I let them know what I know, I tell them things that are necessary, motivate them to study by saying how can they review much better. It's a big change in me, I still wonder how it can change my grade. Hopefully, it will go up as much as I predicted. :)

Although grades are not enough to see how well you have learned, it is necessary to be high so I can continue on my career. Grades are still part of the requirements to pass the subjects, so even though you learned, it should still reflect the grade.

"It is how well you learned that reflects the grade, it is not the grade that reflects how well you learned."

There is a time, while I review, I made a reflection of myself with the subject, on how well I have done for the subject.

"Why do I need to study very hard, this was not the course I wanted when I was a child?" "Why do I have to fight for something I never dreamed to be?

I study hard to become an accountant, to be someone I have never seen myself to be in the future. But why? Why? This came to me as an answer:

"I am with God in my decisions
I am with God during examinations
I ask God for guidance in my course
I know God won't bring me in the worse."

God brought me in my course because it is what is meant for me, to be an accountant is what I am meant to be. This is God's plan, I have to trust his will. He knows what's best for me, and I thank Him everyday for such a blessing He gave me. I believe I can finish this course, I just have to do my best because God already gave me the best. This is God's blessing, this is my dream.

To God be the Glory!

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