Yung feeling na... Blogger ka.

Ang sarap sa feeling! Alam mo yung, after years or months, mababasa mo ulit ang mga sinulat mo. Dito sa blog ko nakapost ang karamihan sa mga nasulat ko, karamihan dahil hindi lahat eh nailagay ko dito sa kadahilanang nawala na.

Masarap magsulat! Isa sa pinakagusto ko ay isulat ang mga nilalaman ng isip ko, mga nararanasan ko, mga bagay na gusto kong bigyan ng pansin, at mga bagay na kahit hindi naman mahalaga eh binibigyan ko ng halaga. In logic, you put into terms the ideas in mind. Simple lang ang dahilan ko, dahil alam ko ay ikatutuwa ko ito balang araw.

Blogger ako, nilalagay ko ang gusto kong i-post, parang compilations ng mga bagay na naisulat ko. Wala naman bawal dito eh, sulat mo ang gusto mo. Ako kasi, pati mga bagay na hindi naman dapat bigyan ng pansin, papansiin ko. Kahit hindi mahalaga, pinapahalagahan ko. Kahit simple lang siya, gagawin ko siyang maganda. Lalong lalo na, kung isang espesyal na bagay yan sa buhay ko, aba! Yan ang gustong gusto kong sinusulat!

Karamihan sa mga posts ko, tungkol sa love. Ang mga karanasan ko sa pag-ibig, sinusulat ko. Maging masaya man o malungkot ang pag-ibig, isusulat ko. Bakit? Kasi bawat karanasan ko, isang mahalagang parte ng buhay ko. Ang pag-ibig ay isang napakasarap na pakiramdam, gagawin kang masaya niyan kahit kakaiba na ang mga nangyayari sa paligid. Maghiwalay man sa huli, hindi pa rin mawawala ang alaala at pagsasamahan.

"Isusulat ko ang love story ko, dahil masaya ako eh. Anumang ikasasaya ko ay isusulat ko. Syempre pasasalamat ko din sa kanya, hindi ko man banggitin ang pangalan niya, alam ko siya ang nasa istorya."

May mga araw na pagod ako, nahihirapan sa pag-aaral at binabagsakan ng problema. Minsan, babasahin ko ang mga posts ko, lalong lalo na yung mga matagal o luma na. Parang gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko. Madalas, ang reaction ko, "Nasulat ko pala ito?" "Di ko alam naisip ko ang bagay na to."

"Yung feeling na... Blogger ka. Babasahin mo ang sariling karanasan mo, malalaman mo kung gaano na kalaki ang pinagbago mo mula nung mga panahon na naisulat mo yun. Yung after ng karanasan na yun, nagbago ka sa ikabubuti mo. Masarap sa feeling!"

Tatlong taon na akong blogger, sana ay umabot pa ako ng marami pang taon. Malamang tatagal ako sa blogging, para mas madami pa akong maisulat na tungkol sa buhay ko.

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What about blogging?

Blogging is the act of posting content on a blog (a Web log or online journal). Source: homebusiness.about.com

Why do people engage in blogging?

People engage their selves in blogging for different purposes, there are people who use blogs to post about their travelling, to have an online diary, to post photos or videos, to give significant influences, and to have it as business.

But for me, when I started blogging, I just made a blog site so as to post and collect all my poems and other literary works, for the purpose of treasuring them and to keep them. But, it's a different thing now, I consider myself a blogger.

What do I post? My blogs are things that goes into my mind, I just want to post things that I think is worth writing, and worth my time.

My blog is purely experiences in life: happenings, observations in surroundings, how I live my life, reactions to certain issues, and the best, graces of God.

Some posts are my dreams, as in the dreams I get when sleeping. I put them into words so as to read them again, or to share them to other people.

I am an online citizen, internet has been a huge part of my life, and I am just taking advantage of it so I used Blogger where I can post my blogs. I am most active in Twitter, but it cannot keep my posts that well so it's not that good to keep thought into social networks. 

Why am I keeping my blog now, why not release it to public?

First, I want to be someone someday, and at the day I already have credibility and significance to people, maybe it's the right time to share my blog to public. Why? Simply to make impact to them, if people can see me as a very good person, I can influence them with my thoughts. Most probably, to help them realize the graces of God, how He moves on mysterious ways.

"I know, someday, through my blog, I can make changes in the world. Now, I am working on myself to be the best I can be, I will change myself first, write them down, and change the world."

Seasons of Love

Iba iba ang pag-iisip ng mga tao
Kaya sa pag-ibig ay di pareho
Kumbaga sa loob ng isang taon
Magkakaiba ang panahon

Mayroong nagmamahal ng wagas
Nagbabago naman sa taglagas
Yan ang mahilig magpa-Fall
Iiwan ka nalang after all.

Kahit gaano pa kainit ang pag-ibig
Minsan nanlalamig sa taglamig
Yan ang giniginaw ang puso
Maninigas parang yelo

Kapag nangibabaw ang ulo kaysa puso
Umpisa na yun ng tagtuyo
Nawawalan na ng tiwala
Pagmamahal ay nawawala

Dadating ang araw na hindi na sweet
Heto ang panahon ng Tag-init
Mainitin ang ulo, puro away
Sa huli ay makikipaghiwalay

Sayangin mo na ang isang taon
Wag lang ang isang pagkakataon
Wag mong isabay sa panahon
Ang paggawa mo ng mga desisyon

Ang mundo ay isang relasyon
Dagok ang pabago-bagong panahon
Kailangan sumabay sa ikot ng mundo
Hindi sa ikot ng isip ng tao

The Blessing Of Giving

During the summer of this year, my Dad was not able to find a job, through the whole summer time we lived at the simplest and we do not cost too much. Luckily, my Dad was able to find temporary work to finance our expenses for the summer. It may be hard for us because our lifestyle is of the middle class, I am happy we experienced again being one not-so-poor for a while.

Happy because they learned again the value of money. Every peso, or every money being pulled out of the pocket is being worthy. Best thing is, I learned from it.

However, at the end of the summer, the class is drawing near, I have to enroll for the coming semester. But, my dad don't have the money yet. I thought I would just be at home for the school year. But, my parents borrowed money to finance my education, so I got enrolled. I am just a little worried that I may have paid my miscellaneous, I might not have money to pay for the tuition.

After a week, the house project of my Dad came, and so we are back on our lifestyle. My dad paid the money borrowed, and he can now finance my studies for the tuition. Of course I am glad.

My dad also gave me too much for my allowance. But because of the crisis we experienced during the summer, I learned to save money. I minimize my costs though I am holding much money, but I pull out money when necessary.

Meanwhile, I am experiencing hardships in my studies, I am failing but still struggling. I don't want to waste the opportunity I have to study and I don't want to waste the money being paid for my tuition. Since my subjects are tough, on a daily basis, the most often I do is to study, study, and study. I always study.

There was a point that I become depress, because I've been studying hard for my studies yet I get low scores. I lived life on the simplest possible. And, now, I learned to give a little of my money to people at the streets, those who also need money so they can eat.

I learned to give, give and give, without expecting something to receive. It became a habit to me now, to share the blessings being given to me and my family.

I don't want to be depressed by my scores anymore, so I studied a lot more than I can do. And it became fruitful, I had perfect scores. With this fruit, I ask God's guidance while I plant the seeds until I harvest the fruit. I am with God on the things I do.

Another blessing came to me along the way. Suddenly, I became a scholar in my school, so I no longer have to pay for my tuition. Such a blessing! I also had a refund of the payment I made. I was really grateful of that blessing.

At the start of the semester, I am not likely to enroll because I don't have money, and along the semester, I became a scholar. What I did to my refund, I shared the blessings I have, I can save some of it but I will share some of it.

Through my simple way of giving, I receive blessings. And through this blessings, I have now a lot to give to the needy and to people around me. I consider this a miracle in my life.

Now, all I have to do is to study hard to maintain the scholarship I have and to make fruits of the seeds that God gave me. I have so much to thank to God, and the best way I know is to show to the people the greatness of God.

Don't look down when you're depressed, look up high and you'll be blessed.

This was not my dream, this is God's Blessing

Why do I have to fight for something I never dreamed to be?

When I was a in my preparatory level, I was asked by my teacher, "What do you want to be when you grow old?" Enthusiastically, I answered "I want to be an Engineer!"

When I reached grade school, I was asked the same question, "What do you want to be when you grow old?" Gladly, I answered, "My dream is to be an Engineer! Because my dad is an engineer."

When I entered high school, I knew that my dad was not an Engineer, he was an undergraduate of his course. But, he became a contractor, his work is like an engineer, building houses and hotels, renovations. He was self-employed, but a lot successful than those who have the degree in Engineering.

I asked myself, "What do I want to be when I grow old? Why Engineer?" I answered myself, "I want to be an Engineer because I want to finish what my Dad hasn't achieved."

During my last year - senior year - in high school, I have been thinking on what course to pursue on college. With too much consideration, my plan is to take up Civil Engineering. However, I also wanted to be a chef, to take up Culinary Arts. Those two are my options on what course to take up.

Meanwhile, during my senior year, I became so interested with bookkeeping - it is one of my subjects then. I noticed I excel in the subject although it's quite hard, I'm on the average but still I find it interesting. There are times that I almost fail for an exam, that it quite disappointing, but challenging. Until the end of the school year, I liked the subject bookkeeping. Also, during the year, I have knew of Accountancy, I knew many students are enrolling on the course. I wondered why, I thought it is really that interesting for students to get attracted. So, I considered it to be part of my course options.

In the last days of my high school years, I have to decide my course for college, it is already the time I have to enroll myself on college. Which course, Civil Engineering, Culinary Arts, or Accountancy?

Ever since, I wanted to be an Engineer; at some point, I felt I like I wanted to be a Chef; and at the most recent time, I have liked the basic of accounting, so I became interested of being an Accountant. As time goes by, I have been weighing what I should pursue on college. Until, I have to enroll now, and guess what?

Of the three options, I chose Accountancy. The course I never dreamed before and I haven't knew since childhood. It is one of the greatest decision I ever made in my life.

So, I enrolled in the course. Honestly, I don't know what's my future in accountancy, i don't know what are the works of an accountant, and I don't have idea that there's such thing as Certified Public Accountants or CPA. All I know is, I am enrolled in the course. In short, I entered the course Accountancy without knowing what it can do with my future.

I enrolled the course on one of the best schools for Accountancy, Holy Angel University. I enter the school with the knowledge I have from high school.

In my first year, things go easy yet difficult. I find my accounting subjects easy because I have my background in bookkeeping, yet I find it difficult because the subjects are really hard. The minor subjects seemed quite easy too. In fact, for the two semesters in my first year, I am included in the Dean's List.

Since my first year was not that hard yet, though I already studied hard for it, I still think I am not focused on my chosen career. I still bring with me my attitude in high school, I still don't study very well for examinations and quizzes. Sometimes, there are tests for tomorrow but at the night, I was just using the computer and surfing the internet.

When I was in first year, I was threatened how difficult my course was, most likely the critical year which is the second year. I never knew that Accountancy is really hard, a lot more than I expected. The filtering of students, the qualifying exams, and the worst is that out of thousand students in first year is only two sections to remain in the Fifth Year. Well, it is necessary to graduate from fifth year to be able to take the Board Exams. That scared me, but I was challenged. The more I dreamed to be a Certified Public Accountant.

Now I am in the second year, the so called critical-year in the five years of Accountancy.

And, ohhhhhhhhhh... It was indeed very hard! It was my first time to experience consecutive zero results in my scores and failing quizzes. On my major exam, I reviewed three books for almost one week, but the result is just a little higher than the passing grade. I feel like surrendering, but I didn't. I studied hard, I recovered myself on the failures I had on the start of the semester. I sees it very hard, so I started to change my studying habits. I have been studying too much, sometimes for the whole afternoon until midnight.

"Life is like a wheel, you cannot move forward if the wheel is not operating."

I am not being productive in my studies, I got failing results. Maybe it is the reason why I fail, my wheel is not operating. So, I changed the wheel, I changed my studying habits. I focus myself on reading the book. I sacrifice my leisure time to allot it for additional studying time. I became productive.

As a result, I got perfect seat works, perfect quizzes, passing pre-examination but same results on the major examination. I can teach my classmates, I let them know what I know, I tell them things that are necessary, motivate them to study by saying how can they review much better. It's a big change in me, I still wonder how it can change my grade. Hopefully, it will go up as much as I predicted. :)

Although grades are not enough to see how well you have learned, it is necessary to be high so I can continue on my career. Grades are still part of the requirements to pass the subjects, so even though you learned, it should still reflect the grade.

"It is how well you learned that reflects the grade, it is not the grade that reflects how well you learned."

There is a time, while I review, I made a reflection of myself with the subject, on how well I have done for the subject.

"Why do I need to study very hard, this was not the course I wanted when I was a child?" "Why do I have to fight for something I never dreamed to be?

I study hard to become an accountant, to be someone I have never seen myself to be in the future. But why? Why? This came to me as an answer:

"I am with God in my decisions
I am with God during examinations
I ask God for guidance in my course
I know God won't bring me in the worse."

God brought me in my course because it is what is meant for me, to be an accountant is what I am meant to be. This is God's plan, I have to trust his will. He knows what's best for me, and I thank Him everyday for such a blessing He gave me. I believe I can finish this course, I just have to do my best because God already gave me the best. This is God's blessing, this is my dream.

To God be the Glory!

Assignment: "What is your Ideal Woman?"

My Ideal Woman

            When I was a child, I just wanted a playmate who can be my friend. Later, I had my best friends in school. Growing older, I experienced having a girl friend. Now that I am mature enough, I will be dealing with an ideal woman.

            I have dealt with my peers through the ages, I have knew what I like and what I dislike with people, and this makes me discover what I am looking for in a woman, an ideal woman.

            I believe in love at first sight, it is because the very first thing we can see is the physical appearance of the person. But the love I have will develop stronger as I get to know the person. I will undergo on the courting-the-girl stage, there I could know if she has the attitude that I would love too. Such attitudes like kind-hearted, generous, appreciative of the gift of life, loves to learn and explore, visionary, and a habit of smiling, are just some of what I find attractive in a person. Thus, one description of my ideal woman is a woman who has an attractive attitude inside her attractive appearance.

            I would love to have someone I can argue with our problems and yet, at the end of the day, such arguments will make our relationship stronger. A woman who deals with the things that can make a relationship closely tied. Another description of my ideal woman is a woman who sees our relationship to last until we get old and sees no hole to escape.

            The woman who can bring out the best in me, the woman who can inspire me to show my potentials, the woman who can make me feel what true love is, the woman who enjoys each other’s company, are all the same woman. I describe my ideal woman as a woman who is given to me by God to change and fix me to how well He wanted me to be.

            I may describe my ideal woman as perfect as I want to, I still do not expect to meet the exact person. I want a woman who is as likely as I have described, and the descriptions she does not have are the things I can possibly change in her.

            Most of the things I mentioned are the things I want to give my ideal woman, it is not just her being ideal, but also me as her possible ideal man. The descriptions of an ideal man she likes that I do not have are the things she can possibly change in me. Above all, it is an ideal love that will make us together as well as change us for the better. I describe an ideal love as a love of two imperfect people, perfectly in love with each other.

"Dream your ideal woman, find it in your imagination; dream of an ideal love, find it in reality." - Fernando Zablan Jr.

Sumpaan

Narrator: Sa paaralan ng Holy Angel University, mayroong isang lalaki at isang babae na magkasintahan, sila ay malapit ng mag-graduate sa magkaibang kurso. Isang gabi, nagkaroon sila ng alitan at sa kabutihang palad, natapos ang kanilang alitan at nauwi sa isang sumpaan.

Ben: Jen, magkalayo lang tayo ng building, huwag mo naman isipin na may ibang babae na ako. Araw-araw naman hinahatid kita sa room niyo at sa gabi, hinahatid kita pauwi sa bahay niyo. Sa mga oras na nasa eskwela ako eh nag-aaral lang naman ako.

Jen: Oo, alam ko naman yan. Eh kasi naman nung minsan na magkasama tayo, nabasa ko sa INBOX mo, may nag-ILOVEYOU sayo.

Ben: Ah yun pala ang problema. Inaamin ko may nagtext sa akin nun, may gusto sakin yun eh. Nakita mo ba naman ba ang SENT ITEMS, hindi ko siya ine-entertain eh. Ikaw lang nga nasa SENT ITEMS ko eh.

Jen: Talaga? (Nag-isip) Sorry na hindi ko naisip yun. (Niyakap ang lalaki) Nagselos lang naman ako eh, ayaw kasi kitang mawala sa buhay ko, ikaw kasi ang mahal ko. I Love You.

Ben: I love you din. Alam mo, ikaw na ang gusto kong mapangasawa, sabay tayong mag-graduate, magkasama tayo maging successful, at..

Jen: Pakakasalan din kita. Sumpa ko, hindi tayo maghihiwalay.

Ben: Sinusumpa ko sa harap ng simbahan ng paaralan na ito, hindi kita iiwan. Sinusumpa ko.

Jen: Kinikilig naman ako. Tara, uwi na tayo.

Ben: Tara, ihahatid na kita sa bahay natin.

Narrator: Ang magkasintahan ay nag-graduate nga sa nasabing paaralan, si Ben ay nagpundar ng sariling negosyo na patuloy ang paglago. Ang kanyang kinikita sa kanyang trabaho ay inilalaan niya sa pinag-iipunang bahay at lupa. Dito niya balak manirahan kasama ang mapapangasawa. Sa kabilang banda, si Jen naman ay piniling magturo sa Holy Angel University, isa siyang college professor na nagtuturo tuwing hapon. Ang naipatayong negosyo ni Lalaki ay malapit sa Holy Angel University, sabay pa rin silang umuuwi tuwing gabi.

Jen: Parang hindi naman dito ang pauwi sa amin ah.

Ben: Narito na tayo Babe, heto na ang bahay na tutuluyan natin. (Sabay turo sa bahay) Dito tayo magsasama at bubuo ng pamilya.

Jen: (Napakasaya) Babe, totoo na ba to? Ang ganda! Nasorpresa ako! Naluluha na ko.. Wala naman sa plano natin ito eh. Tsaka bakit may tao sa loob?

Ben: Babe, wala nga ito sa plano natin, pero plano ko ito para sa atin. Syempre lahat ng lalaki gusto makasama sa bahay ang taong mahal nila. Tara, pasok tayo sa loob para maniwala ka.

Kapatid ni Ben: Ma, Pa, Tito, Tita, nandito na po sila Kuya at ang soon-to-be wife niya!

Pamilya: (Sinalubong ang magkasintahan) Oh, Babae, gulat ka no. Alam ko ang mga luhang iyan, Tears of Joy yan! Good luck sa inyo! Ito na ang umpisa ng pag-iisa ng ating pamilya.

Jen: Opo! Opo! Nasorpresa po ako. Di ko po inaasahan ito.

Nanay ni Jen: Anak, ganyan ka kamahal ng boyfriend mo, huwag mong bibigyan ng rason para iwan yan ah.

(Dumating ang lalaki)

Ben: Wala naman po akong balakna iwan siya.

Pamilya: Kain na tayo!

Narrator: Umupo na ang lahat, nakahapag na ang pagkain sa lamesa, at biglang..

Ben: Jen, maaari ka bang tumayo?

(Tumayo ang babae)

Ben: Talagang pinaghandaan ko ho ang pagsasalong ito, gusto ko pong malaman niyo na mahal na mahal ko si Jen! Pinapunta ko po kayo para sa sorpresang ito, pero, may isa pa akong sorpresa sa gabing ito, gusto kong sabihin sa inyong lahat na ang babaeng ito na nakatayo sa inyo harapan, ay ang babaeng pakakasalan ko!

(Nagbunyi ang lahat at natuwa sa narinig, ang babae naman ay lalong naluha sa sobrang saya)

(Lumuhod na si Lalaki)

Ben:  Babe, Will You Marry Me?

(Nag-iisip si Jen)

Tatay ni Jen: Anak, ayan na, huwag mo ng palampasin, pinapayagan na kita.

Jen: Oo, pakakasalan kita. (Tumayo ang lalaki at niyakap ng mahigpit ang babae)

Magkasintahan: Tara! Kain na tayo!

Narrator: Sila ay itinakdang ikasal sa simbahan, anim buwan pagkatapos ng kanilang pagsasalo. Ito na ngayon ang pinag-iipunan ni Ben, gusto niyang mabigyan ng magandang kasalan ang kanyang minamahal. Si Jen ay may naitabi na ding pera para sa kanilang dalawa, balak niyang dagdagan ito para maipangdagdag sa kanilang gaganaping kasal.

Puspusan sila sa paghahanda para sa kasal, pero kailangan pa rin nilang pumasok sa kanilang trabaho.

Si Ben ang boss sa kanyang negosyo, at, katulad ng iba’t ibang boss, meron din siyang secretary sa kanyang opisina. Ang secretary ay si Nica. Isang araw..

Nica: Boss, gabi na po, baka mapasobrang pagod mo niyan.

Ben: Ayos lang, inspired ako magtrabaho dahil sa nalalapit na kasal ko.

Nica: Boss, invited ba ako dyan? Ang sarap siguro ng ganyan, malapit na magkaasawa lalo na kung ikaw ang magiging asawa. Ang swerte ko siguro, boss, ayy, I mean, ang swerte ng mapapangasawa mo boss.

Boss: Aba syempre, oh oras na, huwag ka na magpagabi, uwi ka na.

Nica: Boss, dito muna ako okay lang? Kwentuhan muna tayo total, off duty na din naman.

Boss: Ikaw bahala.

Narrator: Nag-usap sila sa gabing iyon, at gabi-gabi ng nangyari iyon. Tuwing gabi ay nagkwekwentuhan

sila, kaya medyo ginagabi ng uwi si Ben. Si Jen ay matagal na naghihintay sa kanyang asawa sa oras g pag-uwi.

(Habang nasa kotse)

Jen: Babe, napansin ko, parang napapadalas ang pagiging late mo sa pagsundo sa akin ah. Masyado ka na yatang busy sa trabaho mo? Dati, hindi ka man dumadating ng late.

Ben: Oo, babe. Dami kong ginagawa lalo na sa gabi, lagi ko pang kausap yung... yung gusting mag-invest sa negosyo ko.

Jen: Baka naman iba ang kausap mo ah? *Laughs* Joke lang babe! Wag ka masyado magpapapagod ah, masama sa kalusugan mo yan.

Ben: Oo sige babe!

Narrator: Nakonsensya si Ben sa kanyang pagsisinungaling na kunwari’y investor ang kausap niya, ang secretary niya pala. Ngunit, sa mga sumunod na gabi, patuloy pa rin ang late night na pag-uusap nila at dumating na sa punto na minsa’y magkasama na silang kumakin sa fastfoods or restaurants. Sinasamantala naman ng secretary ang pagkakataon habang si Ben ay sinasabi kay Jen na may meeting siya sa trabaho.

Dumating na ang araw ng kasalan, lahat ay magkakasama na sa pinakamalaking simbahan sa kanilang lugar. Lahat ay nakabihis kulay pula, kulay ng pag-ibig.

At nag-umpisa na ang kasalan. Nakaupo na ang lahat ng bisita, unti-unti ng pumapasok ang mga special na tao sa kasalan. Si Ben ay nasa altar na, hinihintay na lamang ang pagdating ng kanyang sinisinta.

Heto na, naglalakad na sa gitna ng simbahan si Jen, napakaganda niya at bakas ang tuwa sa kanyang mukha. Si Ben ay atat ng makasama si Jen sa altar. Maya-maya’y iniabot ng ng ama ni Jen ang kamay ni Jen kay Ben. Dahan-daha’y papaakyat na sila sa altar, nilalasap ang bawat hakbang hanggang sa naabot na nila ang altar.

Inumpisahan na ng Pari ang seremonya, nagkantahan na ang choir at nanahimik ang mga bisita na tuwang-tuwa sa kanilang nakikita.

Father: Ben, tinatanggap mo ba si Jen bilang iyong kabiyak, sa hirap at ginhawa, sa lungkot at saya?

Ben: Opo, Father.

Father: Ikaw Jen, tinatanggap mo ba si Ben bilang iyong kabiyak, sa hirap at ginhawa, sa lungkot at saya?

Jen: Opo, Father.

Father: Sa basbas ng Panginoon, kayo ngayon ay iisa na bilang mag-asawa! You may now kiss the bride.

Hinalikan nila ang isa’t isa, ito ang pinakaunang halik nila sa labi, inabot pa sila ng dalawang minuto.

Narrator: Pagkatapos ng kasal ay tumuloy na sila sa reception. Nandun din si Nica na tila kinikuha ang atensyon ni Ben sa pag-eentertain ng bisita.

Nang matapos ang reception ay umuwi na sa kanilang tahanan sila Ben at Jen. Sa kalagitnaan ng gabi ay kanila ng bubuuin ang kanilang pamilya.

Matapos ang ilang buwan, tila hindi lumalaki ang tiyan ni Jen, sa katunayan ay nangayayat pa ito. Dinala na ni Ben si Jen sa ospital para ipa-checkup, ang doktora ay kanyang kaibigan.

Ben: Dok, mare, ipapacheck-up ko ho itong asawa ko. Parang may problema ho yata sa kalusugan niya, siya na bahala magpaliwanag sa inyo.

Dok: Osige, ditto ka muna ha, mag-uusap lang kami sa loob ng kwarto para sa iilang health check-ups.

(Pumasok na)

Dok: Ikaw pala ang asawa ng kaibigan ko, so, anong problema? Wag mong sabihing..

Jen: Palagay ko ay tama ang hinala mo, doktora. Ilang buwan na nung ginawa naming iyon, pero hindi pa lumalaki ang tiyan ko. Dok, dok..

Dok: Hindi kayo makabuo ng anak? Problema nga ito, ditto at gawin natin ang mga check-up.

(Matapos ang ilang oras, natapos ang mga check-up at mayroon ng resulta)

Dok: Mare, sorry to say, pero may problema nga ang iyong reproductive system, hindi kayo makakabuo ng asawa mo.

 Jen: *Cries*

(Narinig ni Ben at biglang pumasok ng kwarto)

Ben: Anong nangyari?

Jen: Ben, I’m sorry! *Cries*

Ben: Ah, so ganun na nga.. Huwag kang mag-alala Jen, asawa mo pa rin ako, hindi kita iiwan. Mahirap ito, pero kailangan natin tanggapin.

Jen: Madaming Salamat Ben! I love you!

Ben: I love you! Tahan na, wag ka ng umiyak. Uwi na tayo.

Narrator: Kunwari na lang ay hindi dinadamdam ni Ben na hindi na sila magkakaanak. Habang nasa kumpanya si Ben ay walang humpay niya itong iniisip. Nakita ni Nica na malungkot si Ben, kaya’t nakipagkwentuhan siya muli sa kanyang boss pagkatapos ng working duty.

Nica: Boss, pansin ko sa mga nakalipas na araw eh malungkot ka, an’yare?

Boss: Ah, wala to. Private problem lang.

Nica: Boss naman, oo nasa trabaho tayo. Pero secretary mo ko, kailangan kong malaman ang kalagayan mo para sa mga appointments mo. Isa pa para malaman ko ang mood mo bilang boss ko.

Boss: Salamat ah. Kasi naman eh, hindi pa lumalaki ang tiyan ng asawa ko. Gusto ko magkaroon kami ng anak. Lahat ng mag-asawa, gusto magkaanak. Kaso nga lang, kami, hindi na mabibiyayaan.

Nica: Ayy, pasensya boss, ganyan pala kapribado ang iniisip mo.

Boss: ayos lang yun, ayos nga ito at nailalabas ko ang sama ng loob ko.

Nica: Boss, baka naman gusto mo uminom? Para makapagrelax ka naman. Para makabawi ka naman ng konti sa asawa mo, try mo mag-good time ng hindi niya nalalaman.

Boss: Siguro nga, kailangan ko muna alisin ang sama ng loob ko. Saan ba magandang magrelax? Sama natin ang ibang employees na nandyan pa.

Nica: Basta may inuman po boss, teka lang po, tingnan ko kung may employee pa sa labas.

(Patakbong lumabas ng pinto, ilang sandal lang ay nakabalik na)

Nica: Boss, mukhang wala ng ibang tao maliban sa guard, hindi naman niya maiwan itong building.

Boss: Ah ganon ba, sayang, natawagan ko na ang asawa ko eh, sinabi ko pa man din ay may meeting pa ko. Tawagan ko na lang yata ulit, sabihin ko nacancel na.

Nica: Ay, boss, huwag na. Sasamahan na lang kita, para mawala ang sama ng iyong loob.

Boss: Tayo lang dalawa, hmm.. Osige, pero wag na tayong magtatagal ah. Let’s go in the car.

Nica: Tara Boss! (Sabay kapit bisig sa boss)

(Inalis ni Ben ang bisig ni Nica sa bisig niya)

Narrator: Nasa Bar na sila na malapit sa sikat na Aling Lucing Sisig Carinderia. Doon sila huminto at nag-inuman. Habang umiinom ay nagkwentuhan din sila.

Nica: Alam mo boss, ako pangarap ko din ang magkaanak. Yun nga lang eh, wala lang ako oras humanap ng partner na makakasama, dahil pagod din ako sa trabaho at madalang lag lumabas para magrelax. Buti nga at tinanggap niyo ang alok ko, gusto ko kasi talagang magrelax eh.

Ben: Dapat nga eh ako pa magpasalamat sayo, tinutulungan mo ko mawala ang iniisip kong problema. Sana nga eh tuluyan ko ng matanggap na hindi na kami magkakaanak.

Nica: Boss, mukhang lasing ka na, hindi ka na makakapagmaneho niyan.

Ben: Kaya ko pa, wag mo ko intindihin. (Lasing na kung makapagsalita)

Nica: Hindi mo na kaya boss, buti pa eh dalhin na lang kita sa hotel at dun ka na tumuloy. Medyo tinamaan na nga din ako eh.

Ben: *Di na nakasagot at nakatulog na*

Narrator: Tumawag ng tricycle si Nica, nagpahatid sila papuntang hotel upang dun na magpalipas ng gabi. Magkasama sila sa iisang kwarto. Pareho silang lasing, hindi na alam ang ginagawa. Hanggang sa nagsiping na sila sa kama, at gagawa na ng isang Kasalanan.

Sa kabilang banda, nag-aalala naman si Jen dahil hindi pa umuuwi ang asawa nito. Nasa kutob na niya ang isang karumal-dumal na pangyayari, kahit alam niyang hindi iyon magagawa ni Ben.

Pagsapit ng Umaga..

Nagising si Ben..

Ben: Hah! Bat ako nandito, anong nangyari? Bat ikaw ang kasama kong natulog?!

Nica: Boss, ang naaalala kop o kagabi ay lasing na kayo at inihatid ko kayo ditto. Nagulat nga din po ako ngayon at nandito tayo eh. Naunahan niyo lang ako ng sigaw.

Ben: Kailangan kong magbihis, nag-aalala na ang asawa ko. Uuwi Na ko, absent ako today, cancel all appointments!

Nica: Eh paano naman po ako? Pagkatapos ng nangyaring ito, ganun na lang? Paano ang bills dito.

(Tumakbo ang boss palabas ng pinto)

Nica: Boss, boss!

Narrator: Madali din nagbihis si Nica at binayaran ang bills ng hotel sa account ng kumpanya ng boss niya.

Samantala, nagmamadaling umuwi si Ben para puntahan ang kanyang asawa dahil alam niyang nag-aalala na ito. Nagpark ang kotse sa daan, nagmadali itong pumasok ng bahay.

Ben: Jen, Jen, nasaan ka? Bat wala ka ditto sa kwarto, nasa restroom ka ba? Naliligo ka na ba? (Bigla iyang may narinig na pasigaw na tumatawag sa kanya)

Jen: Ben! Ben! Nandito ako sa Kusina! Alam ko pagod ka, naghanda na ako ng almusal para sa atin!

(Niyakap ni Ben si Jen ng napakahigpit, lalo na’t mag-isang natulog sa bahay si Jen kagabi)

Jen: Ano bang nangyayari sayo? Parang ilang buwan tayong hindi nagkita ah, para kang nagising sa isang malagim na panaginip.

Ben: Wala lang Jen, masaya lang akong makita ka. Nakatulog ka ba kagabi? Kumain ka ba?

Jen: Oo naman, Babe! Namiss ko ang tawagan natin.

Ben: I love you Babe!

Jen: I love you, kaen na tayo Babe!

Nagsimba ang mag-asawa sa araw na iyon, kapwa sila hindi pumasok sa kanilang trabaho. Nagconfess si Ben sa Pari bago sila umuwi. Napahaba ang usapan nila ni Father kaya't napatagal din siya sa pagdadasal. At nang matapos ay umuwi na ang dalawa.

Habang nasa sasakyan..

Jen: Ben, parang may kakaiba sa iyo ngayon?

Ben: Ah? Bakit? Sa totoo lang, may kakaiba nga.

Jen: Ang tagal kasi ng confession mo kanina eh. May problema ba?

Ben: Huwag ka magagalit ah? Kagabi kasi nagsinungaling ako sa iyo. Wala talaga akong meeting. Nag-good time lang ako.

Jen: Ah, okay lang iyon. Alam ko gusto mong magpahinga sa sobrang trabaho. Wag mo ko problemahin, wala sakin yon.

(Inihinto muna ang pagmamaneho)

Ben: Hindi naman yon ang problema eh. Kasi kasama na nakainuman ko eh ang secretary ko, at nasa iisang hotel kami natulog kagabi.

Jen: Hahhhhhh?!!!!!

Ben: Let me finish, ipapaliwanag ko lahat sa iyo ang nangyari, I should fix this. I know hindi dapat nangyari iyon. Let me proceed, kagabi kasi eh lasing na daw ako at wala na ako sa katinuan. Hangad lang naman daw niya eh ang maging ligtas ako. Kaya niya ako dinala sa hotel. Eh katulad ko, lasing din siya. Kaya wala na kaming alam sa mga kasunod na nangyari. I can’t see it intentional naman, inamin naman niya ang nangyari sa akin eh.

Jen, sinasabi ko ito sayo dahil ayokong maglihim sayo, gusto kong maintindihan mo ang side ko, and whatever decision you come up to, tatanggapin ko. Pero, gusto kong malaman mo, mahal na mahal kita! Kaninang umaga, pagkagising ko ay ikaw na ang hinahanap ko.

Jen: Thank you. Naappreciate ko. Masaya ako at magkakaanak ka na. Naiintindihan kita, gusto ko panagutan mo iyon kung magkaanak ka man sa kanya. Lahat ng babae gusto din magkaanak, at gusto ng mga abbae na lumaki ang kanilang mga anak na mayroong kinikilalang ama.

Ben: I love you babe, ikaw ang mahal ko. Pananagutan ko siya. Pero hindi kita iiwan. Hindi anak ang makakapagdikta kung sino ang dapat kong mahalin. Ikaw pa rin ang pakikisamahan ko habang-buhay, hanggang sa tayo’y mamatay.

After a month or two, ipapacheck-up ko siya, wala pang resulta, hindi naman siguro mabubuo ang bata lalo na’t lasing kami, malamang ay hindi naming nagawa ng tama iyon. Pananagutan ko siya.

Jen: Mahal Kita, Ben. Uwi na tayo.

Ben: Di ka galit?

Jen: Trust me, hindi ako galit. Selos lang, pero hindi aabot sa hihialayan kita, tutumbasan ko ang pagmamahal mo para sa akin.

(Nakangiting nagmaneho muli si Ben)

Pagkaraan ng dalawang buwan..

Ang resulta ng Pregnancy Text ay positive, dinala ni Nica ang anak nila ni Ben. Ngunit, umalis ito sa kumpanya. Ibinigay ni Ben ang sapat na pera sa Maternity, retiring fee, at ang pananagutan niya ay sapat na. Sinabi ni Ben na kung mangailangan siya ay wag na siyang mahiya sa kumpanya.

Lumipas ang walong taon, isang sanggol ang dinala ni Nica sa kumpanya. Dinala niya ito diretso kay Ben, ipinabuhat niya ang bata sa ama nito. Taimtim na nag-usap ang dalawa.

Ben: Ito na ba ang anak ko?

Nica: Oo, may karapatan ka sa kanya. Mayroon ng nagpropose sa akin para ikasal, gusto ko sana ay ibigay sa mapapangasawa ko ang sarili ko, iiwanan ko na lang ang nakalipas ko para maging patas sa mahal ko.

Ben: Anong ibig mong mangyari?

Nica: Ikaw na ang mag-alaga sa anak natin, kasama ang asawa mo. Sa inyo na ang bata, sana ay alagaan niyo siya. Sana’y alagaan ng iyong asawa at tratuhin niyang tunay ninyong anak. Maaari pa akong magkaanak. Hindi ko balak na sirain ang relasyon niyo, hangad ko ang kaligayahan niyo at alam ko kung gaano mo siya kamahal. So, Boss, hanggang ditto na lang ako, aalis na ko, hinihintay ako ng future husband ko sa labas eh.

Ben: Heto ang tseke, maraming salamat ditto sa biyayang ibinigay mo sa amin.

Nica: Huwag na, gaya ng sabi mo, isang biyaya iyan, hindi ako naghahangad ng kapalit. Ang pareng ibinigay mo sa akin ay ginamit ko para sa kalusugan niya ditto sa sinapupunan ko.

Ben: Madaming Madaming Salamat! Hngad ko din ang kaligayahan mo.

Nica: Thanks, Boss!

Ben: Call Me Ben.

Nica: Okay, Ben!

Narrator: Ben went home to tell the news to his wife although he is not sure if his wife will treat it as a good, or a bad news.

Ben: I’m home! Jen, where are you?

Jen: I’m here! Oh, who’s that child? Your child?

Ben: Our child.  Dinala siya ni Nica, yung secretary ko noon, para manatili ang sanggol na ito sa atin. Naikwento ko kasi sa kanya ang tungkol sa kalagayan mo nung gabing nag-inuman kami. Pero hindi iyon ang motive niya para gawin yun..

Jen: Stop explaining!

Jen: Tanggapin na lang natin ang sanggol gaya ng pagtanggap sa isang blessing, bigay ito sa atin ng Panginoon. Maraming salamat sa mga nangyari, ngayon ay may anak na tayong maituturing na parte n gating pamilya.

(Jen carries the baby, so glad she has a baby to take care now)

Narrator: The baby was baptized with them as the legal parents. Nung gabi sa araw din na iyon, nagpunta ang pamilya sa simbahan ng Holy Angel University. Kanilang inalala ang sumpaan na kanilang ginawa noong nasa kolehiyo pa sila. Napakatamis ng kanilang ngiti habang sinasabi nila ang kanilang sumpaan.

Ben: Nakakatuwang isipin na ang sumpaan natin ay nagkatotoo noh? Hindi pa nga buo ang sinabi ko sa sumpaan natin noon eh, tapusin ko na ah?

Ben: Alam mo, ikaw na ang gusto kong mapangasawa, sabay tayong mag-graduate, magkasama tayo maging successful, titira tayo sa sariling bahay, haharapin ang mga problema ng magkasama, at bubuo tayo ng isang pamilya, hindi na tayo maghihiwalay hanggang sa tayo’y lumisan. Sumpa man.

Tenses of Love

Past Tense: In Love. Present Tense: Hurt. Future Tense: Moved On.

I have once loved a woman in my life, the feeling or true love. I've been with her, he had chances to be together and even made me smile always. Yes, the feeling of being in love is very delightful, it carries the day so easy. You have good vibes, always positive on things and bright ideas comes to your mind. Of course, ou say you are inspired by your special someone and it's true.

However, there are times that happiness is absent. The absence of happiness in love is the hurting we feel. They say, when you are hurt, you truly love the person. Yes, it's true. It just means you don't want to lose the significant other.

There will come a time that something between you and your significant other will come to an end. That's the worst feeling, most likely to teenagers. But, the pain you will feel can bring you into some realizations.

"To feel hurt is to live everyday with a dead heart."

You just can't get rid of it, the hurt is there for as long as you love the person. And, if you can see no more possibilities, you'll just have to move on. Moving on is the hardest part in love.

"Moving on is walking on the road while looking at your back."

It is very hard to move on from the recent love affair. You may be grabbing a lot of opportunities but you still want the past to come your way. What's good in moving on, you'll have realizations in life and you get more mature to know who will you love the next.

Going to the future tense, so now we're on the future tense which is "Moved On". Let us revise my first statement.

Past Tense: In Love. Past Tense: Hurt. Present Tense: Moved On.

So you have moved on now, you no longer feel the extreme love that you felt before. The significant other you had before is now considered a friend again.

"If you truly love the person, the feeling of love doesn't fade, it stays."

Time will come that you will realize that you no longer feel the extreme feeling, you just feel you love her. Well, the love you have for her will really stay in your heart, simply because you care.

"Malalaman mong Moved On ka na kapag nakita mo sila at masaya ka para sa kanya at inaalala mo na sana wag siya saktan ng kasama niya.."

If there ever comes a time that you'll meet halfway and that person is with her significant other, you will just feel happy for them.

"You'll know you have moved on when you see the one you love with the one she loves, and you feel happy for them but still wishes that the one she loves will not hurt the one you love."

"Malalaman mong Moved On ka na kapag nakita mo sila at masaya ka para sa kanya at inaalala mo na sana wag siya saktan ng kasama niya.."

If "Moved On" is the present tense now, then what's the future tense? Let us revise it again.

Past Tense: In Love. Past Tense: Hurt. Present Tense: Moved On. Future Tense: Love Again.

Someday in your future, you'll find the one who is meant to be for you. The partner in your life will come your way. That will be the right time to love again and this time, you are now mature enough to love.

It really feels good to be in love. We cannot escape it once we feel it, the only way is to feel the love given to us by our Almighty Father, our God.

Pain becomes a part of our life not to ruin things, but to make us decide how well we can love. Love itself is what matters. Love.