2012: Reflection

I always do reflection every year-end, but this will be the first time I will post my reflection in this blog. What is this about? Well, I will write here the memories of this year, includes also the lessons I learned in this year's experience. Sounds great, right? So, here it is.

I have a strong faith in God. I know God knows everything that happens in my life. God gives me the things I need, and oftentimes, the things I pray for.

I remember, I prayed for a Birthday Wish to see the woman I love. On the day of my birthday, I really have seen her, though for a very short time. Still, that completed my birthday. I really thanked God for that. Guess what, the next day, I saw her again. And, she sang me a birthday song very loud. She doesn't know how she made me happy. But God knows how happy I am. Thank you very much!

I have prayed very much for a scholarship for my tuition. When I applied for it last year, I asked God's presence and guidance. I worked for the school in exchange for the scholarship. And, one semester this year, I didn't worked for the school yet I was granted the scholarship. Just recently, I was given the scholarship again, and I knew that this will be continuous until I graduate. This scholarship really means a lot for me, this scholarship is really a "need" for me. I thank God. He knows I need it. He knows. Now, I don't have to worry for my tuition, I just have to do my part and that is to study very well in school. Thank you God! :)

After the school year 2011-2012, I find myself very tired from school. March 31, I asked God one blessing. Just one blessing. Suddenly, on that day, a blessing appeared. @CloseupPH announced that I have a VIP Seat on a TV Show, Party Pilipinas.  So, the next day, my sister and I went to Party Pilipinas and watched the artists perform LIVE. I even had a picture from some of the beautiful artists on the network. This was a perfect trip for me after a stressful school days. Thank you, Close Up Philippines! Thank you, God! :)

This year, I experienced the most challenging year for studying. I almost failed in one of my subject. But, I didn't lose hope in my course, instead, I studied very hard. Almost sleepless nights just to get perfect scores and climb up from the downfall. Of course, that is with the help of God. I pray to God for each of my quizzes and activities. I did it well. I got a high grade, though not very high, but it's high. I'm satisfied with what grade my effort deserves. Still, this year made me realize hat I should study hard for my career if I really want to achieve my dreams. Honestly, when I take quizzes or exams, I think God is watching me doing my best. Actually, I think He is cheering for me. :) Thank you God. :) "God has to break you in order to build you."

This year, I wrote of a story that was given recognition in Chicago, USA. Well, I write for people to read. I want to spread knowledge and wisdom to my readers, also to entertain them sometimes. Until, someone told me that a post in my blog was put in their website based in Chicago. I am very happy, I don't expect it. With that, I became more inspired to write more in any genre. As long as it's worth reading and worth the reader's time. Thank God. I know, He gave this recognition for me because he knows I love blogging.

 Because this year brought me closer to God, I became more conscious of my actions. When I do inappropriate things, I feel guilty. This makes me want to do good things to people. I even noticed that I am more of a soft heart now. Hey, not a gay. But a man who can easily forgive people and concerns many people. This is the best change that happened to me this year. Patience is a virtue. I am more patient now. Patience to my studies, patience to the wrongdoings of people, patience to understand people, patience to wait for the right time and patience for many things.

The greatest transformation to me happened this year. Love life consumes much of my time, because before I think love is the greatest inspiration. This year, I disregarded love life. I put my focus on my dreams. To study so I can achieve my dream. So, my study habits became very great. I am able to study very well now. Now is the time to focus on my dreams. I have so much time to find love after achieving my dreams. My ambitions are now higher and I can see clear results. Thank you God! I asked you to put me on the best I can be, you made me a good student for my dreams. I know, when I become successful on my career, I can be a better man for the woman I will marry.

For now, these are all I remember. Hoping I could still remember memories and lessons by tomorrow so I can update this post. These are all for now.

Thank You God for such a wonderful year for me. I know the recent years are preparations for me to face the future. 2012 is very awesome! I hope 2013 is a lot better for me and for everyone. Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013. :)

Goodbye 2012

What a beautiful year for me! :)

2012 has been such a beautiful year for me. Too many wonderful things happened to me, I've been very blessed. I think God has seen me doing very well in my life, he rewarded me too many things. Well, this awesome year is about to bid Goodbye hours from now, I know I have nothing to regret for the remaining hours because I have done too much for the whole year.

God has given me too much blessings as it overflows. Those overflowed blessings were shared to many people, doesn't matter if I know them or not. What's important is I am not greedy of the blessings, I'm still able to share them to people. I am able to give.

In the month of December, almost all my prayers to God are fulfilled. I guess, only one or two wishes were not granted. But still, too many wishes were fulfilled. I am very blessed!

Throughout 2012, I can say that it's almost a perfect year for me. Yeah, almost perfect because somehow there are still unwanted things that happened, but still, the year has been very good for me. I got many experiences, working with other people at the office,  studying very hard for satisfying grades and many more.

I think, what made me very well this year is that, I focused now on my dreams. On the recent years, I always give most of my time on my love life like I am always looking for someone to be with. I always look for a girl or a woman I can court, like, always looking for relationships. The time I spent for love life is most of my time, I almost forgot myself. But, for this year, I had not spent time for my love life. Instead, I spent my time studying, dreaming to have better grades so I could maintain being in the Dean's List.

Since I don't give time for my love life. I have a lot of time for myself. Aside from studying, I spent my time reaching out to people. Giving. Giving my blessings to people. In the recent posts in my blog, I have written how much I loved giving to people. Give, give, and give.

It is giving, I think, made me feel I am a good person. It is how, I think, I can bring back the good things to God. God made me very happy this year. For me, the way to make God happy is through his people. If I can make other people happy, I can make God happy. :)

This year, I have been greatly close to God and the Church. As I go to school, in the morning, I always go to the Church first and pray to God. I am praying for a beautiful day.

In the morning, I pray for a beautiful day. Consider the 366 Days of 2012, I pray everyday for a beautiful day. What a beautiful year for me! :)

Mosaic Heartache

I have been with many girls in my entire life, I have a lot of them as friends, I have some of them as close friends, I have some of them as crushes, I have some of them with mutual understandings, I have some of them who I courted, I have some of them I have kissed, I have some of them with relationships.

Let me tell you a story of my love life. This is exclusive to the readers of my blog, so consider your self very lucky. *laugh* Since, this is a story of my love life, maybe let's not talk of the guys anymore. :D

Of course, since I was a child, the best woman I have ever loved is my mother. I am very blessed to have my mom by my side, there is no greater love than a mother's love.

As I remember, I started to have a crush, or puppy love, when I was in kindergarten. So young right? Hahaha. Well, I just remember her, but not the name and looks anymore. All I know is that I had a puppy love in that very young age.

When I was in elementary, I had several crushes. I can't remember how many, but I know there is. And then, there is this girl in Grade 6 (I'm in Grade 6 too) who I really admire. Everytime she's passing by, all I wanna do is look at her. She's really beautiful, and we both live on the same neighborhood. One of my friend is her classmate, and I knew that she already have her cellphone so I got her phone number. Well, I don't have a phone that time, I am borrowing the phone of my friend just to text my crush. Haha. At a very young age, I already know those stuffs. :D However, when we graduated in elementary, I haven't seen her. Unless, I walk by their house. Sometimes I see her, and I'm so attracted by her. But, she don't know me anymore. Awww..

Now, let's go in my high school life, I mean, love life. When I was in high school, I have met a lot of girls in my life. Here, many things happened that are so remarkable.

Let's start with my first love. This girl is my first love way back when we were in first year high school. I really felt that I love her. I love to see her, I find myself smiling when I see her, or even just hear her name. Well, I confronted her my feelings. And, I was friendzoned. Aww.. Yeah it hurts. But you know, It is her rejection that made us stick together, and now we're like best friends though we seldom meet now. I just learned that "Rejection is not about having things away from you, but it is one way to keep it with you." I may be rejected with love, but it is our friendship that make us together. I already wrote about us in one of my posts in this blog. So maybe you could read about it. :)

There is also this girl who I have loved. Well, it's a man's nature to feel the lust. But, with too much attraction I see at her, I end up feeling in love. Yeah, we are friends, but everytime we're together, I treat her like a princess. I give some of the things she want without expecting in return, all I wanna see is that she's happy. Everytime she has problems, I'm always there she can talk with. There's mutual understanding. I told her my feelings, friendzoned again. I'm just a friend to her. However, when I confronted her, we became like in a relationship. I also have kissed her in the lips, that's the best thing I can't forget about her. :) We also had slept in one night together, that was in our closing party. Hey you're thinking it wrong, we slept together so I could protect her through the night, so no other guys will do bad things to her while sleeping. We're friends. Yeah, friends.

I also fell in love with a flirt. We just started from a conversion of love, though we don't know each other that time. Just a funny conversation. So I courted her. All along, I was courting a girl who already has her boyfriend. She kept everything to me. So I just left her hanging. Until, she and her boyfriend broke up, she said she loves me. And me, I ignored. I can never love her for long, if she has kept everything to me that time, she can do it again and betray me in the future. So, I just bid her with the one last kiss and goodbye.

The girl I really love the most, I called her Maria in my previous blog posts. I would summarize it here, you could read the whole story on my previous posts. Well, I am truly, madly, deeply in love with this girl. I have the feelings that I know I am the man she deserves to be with, the man he would be happy to marry. I love her. I still love her though she had boyfriend that time. We always text, tweet, chat, and meet. Many people knew I love her, because it's pretty obvious. I just don't know why I ended up friendzoned. She is the girl I loved the most, I even considered it true love. I have the true love, she doesn't. It really hurts, I got tears in my eyes, it took me a long time to move on and I until now, I still love her. I don't have regrets if we ended up like this, because I know throughout my courtship, I had showed her everything I got and make her feel the love I have. This is the most hurting heartbreak I have in my life. And, now she just calls me "Kuya". I just don't know how to interpret it. But we're glad as friends now.

Let's not just talk about the relationships, since all are not-so-serious relationships, though it's serious for me but not for the other. I just wanna thank them for the time they spared with me. :)

I have more stories to tell, but quite similar to the recent stories. Throughout my high school years, I have kissed a number of woman, mingled with them. We've been more than friends but less than lovers. But, I have never invited a girl to do the sex thing. I love them, and I want first to get married with the woman I will love eternally before doing that thing. I respect every girl I have loved. Just to clear it :))

So, what's the point of narrating these stories? I don't know, I just want to. Haha.

I may seem to be like a flirty guy, having mutual relations with different woman. But, you know, with the stories of my love life, I have learned a lot. With my immaturity to fling with many woman, I became mature enough to choose or to know the woman I'm going to marry.

Since college, I've never committed in a relationship. Because I'm more meticulous in choosing the woman I can be with. Also, if ever I will commit myself in a relationship, I am looking for the woman who I'm gonna marry. The woman I can be with forever. With the past love stories I experienced, I knew the characteristics I've been looking in a woman.

The title of this blog is Mosaic Heartaches, it's obvious because my of life is full of heartbreaks. These heartaches are worthy to experience because you can be able to know what love really is. As they say, you will know what is right when you know what is wrong.

When I was young, I thought LOVE is the best inspiration to study well in school. That was the biggest misconception in my life. Now that I'm in college, I focused in my dreams and with God. My academic performance had improved, dreams and God is the best inspiration in my studies. I am wrong to think that love can inspire me, because I wasn't good when I was in high school. In college, I am right to choose my dreams and God as my inspiration and I'm doing well now in school.

To sum it up, love can be an inspiration, if it motivates you to study well. If love makes you miserable, have cutting class, and lower grades. Love is not an inspiration. You should be wise. There are many things that can inspire you, do not focus on love. If you got hurt on your past relationships, don't make yourself miserable. Instead, make yourself wiser to choose the right person in your life.

When love hurts, it really is love. But if love doesn't work, don't force it to happen. When love makes you good, it is inspiration. When love makes you bad, it is desperation.

So guys, make your mosaic heartaches turn into an art of a beautiful masterpiece. The masterpiece of a beautiful love story. :)

The Other Side

Are you wondering what is the other side that this blog is about?

Our life has two sides, which I define as One Side and The Other Side. We recognize both sides but we just tend to appreciate One Side. However, The Other Side has something to do with our lives too. Moreover, both sides of life are blessings to all people living.

One Side of life is all about the things that we want in life, the things we want to achieve, the things that makes us happy and the reasons why we still want to continue living in this world. This side of life also includes our inspirations, aspirations, and imaginations. In general, this side of life pertains to the positive things of life that keeps us going.

Now, let's proceed to The Other Side.

The Other Side of life is all about the challenges, problems, hindrances, failures, or shall we say everything that makes life very tough. This side includes the reasons why we are about to give up on life, or the small things why we say life is unfair to us. (Well, actually, life is fair.) However, this other side of life, all the reasons, are also blessings just like the One Side. Sometimes, we think these problems are just to make us suffer, but we don't notice this gives lessons on how we can be wise to live our lives. We think life gives us problems, but we don't understand that it is a reason why we are still alive.

We only take for granted the things on The Other Side of life just because these are problems, compared to One Side which gives satisfaction to us. Well, here are some things from the Other Side which can give us realizations that these are just blessings for us.

Your family has financial problems to pay for your tuition in school.
You are blessed you are sent to school.

You suddenly lost your internet connection.
You are blessed you have your computer system and more blessed you have internet connection.

You are fat and clothes don't fit your body.
You are blessed you have enough food to eat.

You are not as beautiful as the people around you.
One person will love you as you are and for who you are.

You failed to be employed in the business.
You still have opportunities to be employed on best companies.

You have blurry or poor eyesight.
You are blessed you have eyes that can see the beauty of life.

Some people walk kilometers away from school.
They are blessed they are capable of walking and they have the privilege to go to school.

You will have a test regarding the lessons in school.
You are blessed you learned.

People pay taxes from their salaries.
It just means they are employed.

People are complaining to the government.
It shows there is freedom of speech.

Mothers have many clothes for laundry.
She is with her family together.

We experience many hardships and sleepless nights for school.
You are educated and capable to graduate.

You feel pain and get sick.
You are blessed to have a body.

You are sad now.
It means you know and experienced what is happiness.

You don't have lights in your home.
You are blessed your family has your own house.

Your alarm clock is waking you up.
You are blessed you are still alive.

You are about to quit loving God.
God will never quit loving you.

Those are just some of all the problems we encounter in life. The first statements pertain to the problems or challenges we encounter, the second statements prove those are blessings.

We have One Side which gives us the positive outlook in life, The Other Side gives the negative happenings in life. This proves that our life is Balanced, the positive and negative gives a neutral path.

We don't have to worry in our life, we may enjoy the One Side, we may be challenged by The Other Side, we are still in the journey where everything that happens in our life is neutral. Everyone's journey is in the neutral path, we just have to live with it.

One Side plus The Other Side is equal to "Life is Fair".

To Write Is To Influence

I love writing. Although there are only few who reads the posts in my blog, I still keep on writing. Despite the fact that even my friends don't even give time to read what I write, though I only have a very few audience or readers on my blog, I still persevere to write.

Actually, this blog is really kept private, it was just months ago that I really exposed in public. My purpose is to collect poems I've written, until I created stories, until I post my thoughts into words, and until I write to impact the world. All my posts, I think, have implications which are related to life. There are lessons, moral thoughts, things to ponder and even things we should remember. That's this blog is about.

Though my blog is about my personal life and observations, I know when people are able to read it, they can apply it to themselves. Because the lessons I put in my posts are the lessons I learned in life, which they can learn too.

For now, I just write. I want to write. I love to write. i will write every time and everything I want.

I will share my writings through Facebook, Tumblr and most likely on Twitter or any other websites. It's up to them if they will read or not. I won't mind if they will appreciate it or just don't mind it. What's important is that I was able to share my thoughts. It's their loss, I know.

I'm lucky there are still those people, random people, who reads my posts in this blog. I am lucky but they benefit from me. I am happy they can read, I am very happy they learned. :))

Maybe now, people won't mind to give time to read my writings just because I'm just a normal person as they know. But, I know someday they will be the one to find my blog to read and know how well I made an impact to the world. These literary works will make changes in the people and to the world.

Honestly, I don't want to be known as famous, I want to be known as an influential person for my writings.

What I want is to influence, not glory or fame. I know God is with me to spread the good in this world. I may not be a billionaire or millionaire to share money in this world, I can give them my intellectual property to make good changes in people's lives.

I am with you, too. Share the posts in my blog for them to read too. Thank You :))

Merry Christmas

We're back to December. Cold breeze, house decors, Christmas songs, Christmas lights, Snow on some countries and everything that reminds of Christmas are seen everywhere.Wish lists are also on the minds of the people, most likely the kids who will receive gifts for this Christmas. Families are now thinking of recipes to cook for the Christmas Day.

Meanwhile, students are still preparing themselves for the upcoming examinations before the Christmas vacation. At the same time, they are also planning for exchange gifts and also for a Christmas Party before having the Christmas school break.

Soon, there will also be 9 nights of Holy Mass at the churches, 9 nights before Christmas Day. People are hoping that through the 9 Holy Mass, all their prayers can come true. The tradition goes annually, people might have received the blessings from their prayers that's why they keep on going to the Holy Mass.

Let us all remember that the Christmas Season is about the day when the Savior was born, our lord Jesus Christ. The Christmas Day is all about Him, to proclaim the goodness in our world, to celebrate the joys in our hearts. We are so blessed that God gave us his only Son to save us from our sins. Jesus Christ is the God in Human body, so as God can be with the people he created. On Christmas Day, feel the love of God,  The unconditional love of God is enough for us to live happy in this world.

Maybe sometimes, you are asking Him, why do we need to suffer such pains and embarrassment in life? Why do people have to sacrifice in our life? Why are there happenings that can only make us sad? Why are there times that we feel so alone. Yeah, those are frequently asked by people questioning the unconditional love of God. But, for God, you are loved.

Sometimes, we suffer on pain and embarrassments so we could know that God can heal us. Sometimes, we sacrifice the things in our lives so we could feel that God can fill the emptiness in you. Sometimes, there are incidents that make us frown or sad for us to know that God can make us happy. Sometimes, we feel so alone for us to know that God is there to be with us. God loves us. We just can't understand what it is, but we have to trust God's will.

If God made your life so Perfect, would you still know Him? If you have your perfect life, would you still ask God about your life? You may forget God, but God won't forget you. God is doing the things that can make you remember Him. For He is our Father.

Just like Jesus Christ, we are children of God. We have our birthdays as well as Jesus Christ have too.

Christmas Day is the Day of Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas. :))